Supporting someone experiencing domestic and family violence

Signs someone could be in a harmful relationship

Domestic and family violence is not always physical. It can involve patterns of fear, control, intimidation, or isolation. Signs someone may be experiencing domestic and family violence:

  • appearing fearful, anxious, or distressed around their partner
  • becoming isolated from friends, family, or community
  • experiencing ongoing criticism, humiliation, or monitoring
  • experiencing pressure, threats, or coercive behaviour

Domestic and family violence often involves a pattern of control over time. Trust your instincts – if something doesn’t feel right, gently check in and express care and concern. Listening without judgement and encouraging connection to support services can make a meaningful difference.

Domestic and family violence can happen to anyone, in any community. Knowing how to recognise the signs and respond with care and practical information can make real difference.

Why it can be difficult for someone to leave or report domestic and family violence

There are many reasons why a person experiencing domestic and family violence may not be able to leave or report the behaviour. While it can be difficult for others to understand, leaving an abusive or controlling relationship is often a time of increased risk. Reasons someone may stay or find it hard to leave include:

  • they may still feel love or concern for the person using violence and hope the relationship can change
  • fear their own safety or the safety of their children
  • financial barriers, including limited access to money or safe housing
  • feelings of loyalty or obligation influenced by faith, beliefs, or expectations of others
  • uncertainty about the future and doubts about coping independently
  • feelings of shame or self-blame
  • being isolated from family, friends, or community.

Practical ways you can offer support

If someone you know may be experiencing domestic or family violence, your support can be very meaningful. You do not need to have all the answers – listening with care and compassion is a powerful first step. Ways you can offer safe and respectful support include:

    • listening without judgement and allowing them to share their experiences in their own time
    • avoiding blame or pressure, and not telling them what they should do
    • believing them, respecting their choices, and supporting them to decide what feels safest for them
    • offering practical support, such as helping them connect with support services providing transport, or exploring safe housing options
    • avoid criticising the person using violence, as this can result in them withdrawing or disengaging from supports

Related articles

Supporting your child through your separation

Family and relationship care

Research has shown that when parents separate, children may cope better when they feel heard and understood. Child-Inclusive Family Dispute Resolution (CI-FDR) helps parents better understand their child’s experience, can reduce conflict and help parents to make child-focused decisions that support wellbeing and positive co-parenting into the future.

Read more

Maryborough children start school with confidence

Family and relationship care

More than 200 Maryborough families were supported through Centacare’s School Savvy Pop-Up Shop, helping children start school prepared and confident.

Read more

How to stand against sexual violence

Family and relationship care

October is Sexual Violence Awareness Month and, with the sharp rise in reported sexual assaults, it’s time to reflect on the practical steps each of us can take to prevent sexual violence and build communities where respect and safety are embedded in our culture. 

Read more

Click for emergency assistance contact details